Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
