You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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