We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
