Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
