he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
