yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
