I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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