So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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