I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
