Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I checked into jail on foursquare
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
