don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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