she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
