And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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