So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
