the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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