I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
