she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
