guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
