fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
