so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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