She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
