I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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