There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
