So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
