i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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