I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
