i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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