this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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