if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
