You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
