Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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