her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I need water and some morals
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
