I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
