i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
