what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
