just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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