my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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