we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
