I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I licked your asshole in confidence.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
