The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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