She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
