i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
