It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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