ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
