Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
