they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
