dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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