Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
