i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
