what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am one with the molecules
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
