Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
