the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
